to find out or not to find out

With our last child I went into the anatomy scan to see how baby was doing. I said to the US tech that I did not want to know what we were having. ONLY if they were 100% sure they could tell what it was I wanted them to write it down on a sheet of paper for IF and WHEN we wanted to know. Well the US tech could not tell- okay bummer, but OKAY thats fine better yet we could easily be team green now! Well when the Dr. comes in I repeated what I said to the US tech. He is looking and he says "Yep, thats what it is, write it down." I'm excited now! Yay they can tell! The tech skeptically looks at the Dr, and the screen and seems slow to write it out" Fast forward: my husband and I one night are sitting on the couch with envelope in hand discussing do we find out or not? We decide to open it- EEK here it goes. He sees it and smiles and hands it to me! Its what I felt it would be- Congrats its a GIRL! WOW YAY! time to find pink time to find purple-- oh all these diapers I get to find! Fast forward again: I had a homebirth- I remember it to this day- baby is delivered in my living room, Im facing the wall and husband is saying with this positive tone... uh oh uh oh! I turn around to face them.... in SHOCK... "THATS....NOT....A GIRL! I'm shocked,..I'm stunned,... I loved him yes but I grieved the loss of this child I made these emotional connections with.. that I made life plans for. It sounds so weird I know but it took days for me to get used to this. I would have rather not known at all then to know it this way.
It was Gods hand on me saying "Silly girl, see! didn't you know that your not meant to find out, this is in my hands not your doctors."

So my big question is: I don't do very well with this baby patience thing. I realize that if I risk finding out this could happen again. BUT goodness I really want to know. I have the choice to find out in a couple weeks. Its the race for the boys (3) and the girls (2) what will it be?  Do we wait to find out? What are the pros to waiting? How do you do it? This baby will be born in the winter which is my first so the clothing wont be as prepared etc. Vote!